Working, daily living, driving, stairs no stairs.
How do the tough decisions get made?
The descent is gradual speckled with hopes,
Those often illusive and quite frequently betrayed.
My cocoon space from the world is simple
But provides comfort and security.
But provides comfort and security.
Yet I wonder if the cocoon will be there
If the dominoes tumble in uncertainty.
Days turn into weeks and weeks into months.
I continue as if all will be fine.
Telling myself I'm adapting to a new normal,
That life will regain rhythm and soon fall into line.
Yet work days turn more demanding and
Ever more exhausting to navigate.
I wonder if this existence is denial or the
acceptance I assert attempting to create?
Where is the line between worry and planning?
How do the tough decisions get made?
Life has been trimmed to a postage stamp,
There's not much left to subject to the blade.
So plan, mull and react to the fine print.
Only four years on the disability policy?!
Will the dominoes cascade in
An orderly line or a daunting pile of debris?
However, again I engage in yet another hope
That this latest surgery might bring some relief.
Not naively denying the probable but
Realistically hoping for a bit of reprieve.
Space to be used to live the new normal
While planning for the unpredictable in life.
So when the tough decisions are finally made
The cascade they trigger might resemble a line.
It's not all rough. Some pretty decent views in my town this time of year...even the spawned-out salmon...some nourishment for the soul.**********************************************
"Where is the line between worry and planning?
ReplyDeleteHow do the tough decisions get made?
Life has been trimmed to a postage stamp,
There's not much left to subject to the blade."
Well said. And since you follow that with photos that sparkle I know you still are determined to incorporate beauty into the ever evolving new normal.
I too resolve to recognize the beauty even if through the miniature frame of a postage stamp.
Judy
Wow, I miss midwest leaves changing color. Here is Seattle they look quite,er, different. Well, just less of them I suppose. Bringing beauty into a life always helps any hard fall. You are thinking about your future, that is huge. So many do not. Pat yourself on the back. Dominoes can be a fun game. Seriously, get your cat into Amazon.com, they have every book kitties want!
ReplyDeleteJudy - It's amazing how down I can feel yet be inspired by a Stellar Jay, spawning salmon or tree. These things really bring me into the moment. And, I've usually turned to nature over people for comfort through the years.
ReplyDeleteDiane - LOL! I live not too far from you across "the pond"! My town just planted some choice trees. Yeah, planning and thinking about the future, what a trip. So unpredictable and scary without the partner buffer. Hey, my cat must have read your comment -- he literally crawled up on the keyboard as I typed this!
Just had to come over after seeing your name at Diane's, drawn by that clever spelling of bibliotheque (or biblioteca) Enjoyed the prose and definitely the pix.
ReplyDeleteCathy - Glad you stopped by. Bibliotekaren means "the librarian" in Norwegian and Danish. Dropped in on your site -- The Birth of Venus is one of my favorite images. Will stop by later after work to read more.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful and beautiful pics too. I am a strong believer in willing things to happen in my life. I may get scared at times but I also have an incredibly strong resolve and it sounds like you do too. It is amazing what we can survive and will to happen. Try to stay optimistic no matter what and believe that you are going to be just fine.
ReplyDelete