Foolishly Free Associations: Life Planning - School House Rock - Fine Print

Where is the line between worry and planning?
How do the tough decisions get made?
Life has been trimmed to a postage stamp,
There's not much left to subject to the blade.

These sentiments I wrote a few months ago
when pondering my future and function.
Since that time I've been frequently amazed
by the non-linear nature of my shifting malfunctions.

Having just re-read the verse above,
I free-associated over to some School House Rock.
Function, malfunction, Conjunction Junction.
And or but while if only although nor not.

I'm now inclined to wielding plenty of subordinate clauses,
operating under conditions of if, and, but not that.
But dang if these tightly crafted contingencies
provide no guarantee that I will not wonk or easily splat.

Deciding I should plan, again to the fine print I go
yet to interpretation issues do I frequently resign.
...in order to be eligible for these benefits,
meet said conditions and ensure planets are favorably aligned...

...this benefit is effective after five months, nine days, and two hours
but only if you're in possession of a red-headed stepchild...
[Whereas it will allow you to not sleep under a bridge,
it's likely enough for a fishing shanty - hey, let yourself go wild!]

...in the event that condition A overlaps with condition B,
condition B takes precedence as long as you own a pedal harp.
...this will also apply to non-harp owners who establish proficiency
at singing in harmony but most definitely not in C sharp.

...in the event that you are not musically trained or inclined, 
completion of the nine page appendix, 52-c.1, on musical collections will suffice.
...include collection descriptions and original purchase documentation of 
Elvis, Patty Larkin, Patsy Cline, Billie Holiday, or Ray Price

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