Yeah, I too wondered how that would work

What a weird, whacky snafu of a day. I want to assign blame but a portion belongs to me as well.

Suffice it to say, that a long chain of events led me to having a cardio stress test scheduled for today. I have significant shortness of breath that is getting worse. To the point of considering the ER a couple times this weekend. If I thought my life was impacted before well...it's quite horizontal these days.

I voiced concerns about this test. Someone along the way noted that they have all sorts of ways of doing this -- seated, meds, etc -- not to worry. But then there was the perky scheduler on the phone. She informed me they'd do an echo ultrasound of my heart, then I'd run on the treadmill, and then they'd do another echo. Umm, hold on, uh... could you back up there? Run on the treadmill? Uh, nope. I could walk slowly holding on, however, my motor skills would likely fade quickly -- similar to a wind-up toy going down. I thought my doc would have noted limits or issues on this test for me.

I placed more phone calls. Some were returned. Some weren't. My doc's office reiterated that she wanted me to do the test. I decided to go as I wanted the echo. My pal Mikel chauffered me in my car. He and I pondered how this would work. This test was at the hospital where I had brain surgery. Lots of memories came back as I walked familiar halls.

The long halls led me to quickly wonking which surprised me. I began walking through the molasses and soon started the slow bobbity walk. Why did I leave my cane in the car? Why didn't we grab a wheel chair? I hadn't been trying to deny my function. It's just hard sometimes to predict as it goes all over the place. And, things are different now. Am quicker to wonk and quicker to recover. Anyway, at this point I spied a chair by the coffee shop. Every ounce of energy was focused on getting to that chair.

I sat in the chair for a while vacantly staring and hoping the vibrating would stop. Mikel went off to find a wheel chair and soon we were off again. The assistant came out to get me. Surprise clearly was registered on his face. I walked across the room in a fashion I thought was my pretty walking. He and I discussed the appropriateness, or not, of the test. Mikel suggested I take the chair so I'd have it after the test. The assistant wheeled me back to the tech. They shared a wtf look with each other. I said I'd been asking along the way too.

Half-heartedly, I said I'd be game to try it for a bit but they probably wouldn't get the target heart rates. The assistant emphatically pointed out to the tech, "Man, you should see how she walks, she can't do this." While I knew he was right a small part of me inside said, "Hey pal, that's my pretty walking you're talking about!" In any case, a phone call was made and it was decided an echo would be done with the med/stress test later.

When the tech began the test, my arm/shoulder twitched a few times. I apologized and said that wasn't voluntary. Just my nervous system releasing stuff. She didn't say anything, re-positioned it and continued. I had a bigger trunk twitch about a minute later. She said, "Every time you do that I have to re-position you. Don't do that." Whoa, let me repeat. This is unvoluntary -- I have nervous system impairment. Oh, what's wrong with you? Oh, don't even go there. Actually I did for a while but could telling she wasn't tracking.

Mikel and I went out to the top of the parking garage. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day and we had a view of the city. I left through those same doors over a year ago after surgery. At that time I had hopes that, as a friend put it, the brain surgery would be the giant reset button. They didn't quite pan out. I contemplated my hopes now. I still have them. Just different ones now.